You can keep going long after you think you’re done/you can’t/you’ve given up.
While this does not seem as true when it comes to food or alcohol consumption, it certainly is a fact with work, physical activity and, to a certain degree, the mental ability to cope with whatever. Just when I think, “That’s it, I can’t take anymore!” something else comes along and proves me wrong. I DO take more. I deal with it and it gets done. Because… that’s the nature of the beast.
After years of trying to avoid any kind of stress and failing miserably (because it ALWAYS sneaks in somehow), I’m finally beginning to understand that I’m not the only one around here who feels like Indiana Jones’ bumbling cousin, narrowly escaping fatality at every corner, flying by the seat of my pants… winging it, most of the time. It’s a wonderful realization, this newfound certitude that everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is just as full of shit as I am, that beneath their calm, cool, collected mask of confidence, their heart is all aflutter because they are really hoping to get away with whatever they have just done. They too are holding on by a thin, fragile thread. Oh. And they have been holding on for a while, too, in spite of the fact that they were quite sure, a while back, that they had had enough.
Posted on July 15th, 2007 by Marianne
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In a recent conversation, it was pointed out to me that I talk about my academic achievements and artistic/intellectual pursuits with relative confidence, but that whenever I mention my body, my outward appearance or my living environment, I sound almost apologetic. Food for thought, in that good way.
As I’m sitting here, typing, I’m realizing that I just… gave up on those three things, at some point. I wonder if it’s because, one day, it occurred to me that I was never going to be the stereotypical image of perfection… or because I felt that it was too difficult to put in the extra effort… So, it boils down to discouragement or laziness, then. Perhaps a bit of both?
Now to figure out what to do about it… where to start.
Posted on June 27th, 2007 by Marianne
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A few months ago, I stumbled on a website. Some guy and his wife were expecting a new baby, and he was trying to make a bit of extra money… drawing monsters and sending them to people in the mail! I waited for a theme that especially appealed to me and this month, I finally placed my order. You can view a video of him drawing for me here… ask my boyfriend how many times a day I make THAT EXACT FACE when I’m working…
Posted on June 15th, 2007 by Marianne
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I’m sitting here, writing to no one in particular. I feel funny about sending words out in the world like this… as if my errant thoughts were a cryptic message in a bottle. Interestingly, many such messages are found very, very close to where they were dropped, only… decades later. I guess we do live in a small world, don’t we?
Posted on June 13th, 2007 by Marianne
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w00t!
(Apparently, this is what I’m supposed to write. I have no idea what it means or why… but maybe someone will end up explaining it to me. It is not for me to ask questions, it is for me to STFU and give in to the strange whims of the Web Gods, so as not to anger them. They must bless this blog and all who comment upon it. Uh… What’s binary for Amen?)
Posted on May 9th, 2007 by Marianne
Filed under: Miscellaneous | 6 Comments »